I’ve never fit in. As far as I can remember, I’ve always made people uncomfortable.
Don’t get me wrong, I had supportive and flexible white liberal parents in the 1970s and they taught me I could grow up to be anything I wanted to be. But they literally couldn’t imagine all that would entail.
My making people uncomfortable might not have been obvious because I spent the better part of 40 years of my life becoming expert at not “causing trouble” — which means that I learned to be careful and cautious. I learned to anticipate people’s insecurities and worked to make them comfortable. It became my habit to take care of people. If I couldn’t be “pretty,” at least I would be “smart” and “nice” and “dependable.” It got me through.
But the older I’ve gotten, the more I found understanding, the more I’ve been blessed with people who have been able to affirm my gifts, the more I learned just how uncomfortable I make (most) people for not running the same scripts they expect.
I guess that’s a longer story, but as I work to choose all of me, whether or not that makes you comfortable, I am collecting resources that support me on that journey. This will be a page where I collect some that I feel comfortable making public.